WHY??

That's what I woke up thinking about this morning. Why did we lose our beautiful, young Molly girl? I suppose I'm working my way through the grieving process....although it's hard to access that when your heart is broken. At the same time the hurt is still so raw and at the surface I am also feeling angry. We took such good care of Moll. Check ups, top notch dog food, exercise (she was my best walking partner), groomed her on a daily basis checking her for ticks, lumps or anything out of the ordinary. I don't get it! Why did this happen? Why is Erik not going to have his best friend greet him at the door when he gets home from college? Why is she not cuddling up to me right now? Her coat so soft and silky against my skin. I want her back, I want her liquid brown eyes to stare at me again begging for a piece of cheese. I want to see that look of disapproval in her eyes when they rest of the goldens are playing too rough, in her opinion, and I should "fix" that before she has to!

I look at my other dogs and wonder when they will leave me. It's more than I can bear right now. I don't want Molly to be forgotten, I can't let her 4 short years on this earth just disappear. Life moves on I know that, but I don't want to forget what it felt like to hold her in my arms . I don't want to forget how she pestered me to put my sneakers on while getting ready for our walks. I don't want to forget how my neighbors commented on "what a beautiful dog she is" each day when we walked by their house. I don't want to forget what it was like to watch her trot across the backyard with her coat glistening in the sun....breathtaking.

The relief after her surgery when the pathology report came back from all the biopsies....no cancer.... was a high point. After all the diagnostics were finally done I thought we were on the right track treating her for inflammatory bowel disease, but she wasn't improving. So much vomiting, so much weight loss. We were going to try other meds, different food and I was going to take her back to the specialist. The internist was very concerned that she wasn't improving and was suspicious something else was going on... then the seizures started. Those violent, horrific seizures. I knew it was bad and I knew I was losing her. Four months to the day from my dad's passing I held our beloved Molly in my arms and watched her close her eyes for the last time... all the while telling her how much she was loved.

WHY??!

One Bright Star in the Evening Sky....

Your love's light leads me on my way.

SunKissed Starr's R Forever ::Molly:: 4/10/05~4/29/09

Gone way too soon and will be Forever in our Hearts.
Godspeed sweet girl...our lives will never be the same without you.

Love,

Bob, Linda, Jamie, Erik,
and your golden family: Max, Siena, Truly, Apollo & Zap

New Pictures of Zap

The dogs got a lot of outside time this weekend. When I have more time I will write about the wonderful agility seminar we attended last weekend!



Zap-A-Roo Look at YOU

Big Boy carrying the Big Kong

Looks like a new digging spot

Haha...Apollo was surprised how fast the little guy is getting!

My new favorite picture of Zappy

Future show dog?

14 Weeks Old....yesterday! ;-)

Zap is growing up! He can no longer go under the coffee table with out ducking. All of a sudden he has legs. As of Monday at the vet's office he weighed 23.5 lbs. I can still pick him up (barely). Bath for Zap this weekend then hopefully some stacked pictures.

Bold, beautiful and bouncy...I love this puppy!

13 Weeks Old!

Now it's time to start counting weeks and months...so as of yesterday Zap is 3 months old :)

I am finding that Zap's training is zooming along. The key is integrating his training into our everyday routine and it's working beautifully! I couldn't be more pleased with his progress. We do a short burst of attention heeling before EVERY meal and he is so flashy. The name game is done EVERY time he is called in from outside. Adding distractions slowly is important and we take our training on the road whenever there are errands to run and classes to attend. I'm loving this process and he is such a sponge.....taking it all in!

Agility class for Siena and Truly today. We should be on our way to Syracuse for 4 days of agility trials; however, Siena came into heat so we had to cancel :( Have to admit I am very disappointed since we haven't trialed since November. On the up side we have some nice trials coming up in May, June and July!

Bought the Zap Man a new bed at CVS this past weekend. Surprisingly they have a cute little selection of dog stuff. It was only $3 (had a $2 off coupon :). I know it's small~but hey, when he is 75 pounds he can use it as a pillow and he looks so cute in it now.

Off to play agility!



Zap's new bed

Fresh and Clean

Apollo was due for a bath and some grooming so today was his day. He was perfect for me in the tub. In fact, he is the easiest dog I've ever bathed!

Soft coat and smelling sweet....this boy is extra huggable today!




Max and Apollo....Apollo waiting for the kong


Apollo's turn with the Kong


Looks like he should be on a calendar!

Waiting for Max to come out to play


Looking very grown up

Such a handsome boy

12 Weeks Old!

Of course we had to celebrate this special day with a baby ice cream cone! It got up to 60 degrees today and stopping for an ice cream treat on the way home from agility class made it seem like winter is OVER ;-)

Happy 12 week birthday wishes to the "Blue" siblings.